Ten dates to forget you
by Noe Mallen
Summary: "Edward... you and I... what are we? I asked him, looking him at his eyes. "Friends, Bella, you know it. You're my BFF, since high school". The smile in his face was shining. "Friends..." I whispered. "Yes, Bella, just friends." Crap... I've been in love with Edward since I was fourteen. It was enough. I was going to get over it. Yes... we'll be just that... we'll be just friends.
1. Chapter 1

**_New story. Just to have some fun. I hope you like it._**

**_Before you start to read, you have to know that this Bella is so foul-mouthed, and probably they'll talk a lot about sex, that's why this story is rated M. If you don't like it, don't start to read._**

**_I would love to read your reviews._**

**_And finally, please excuse my mistakes. I'm not English, nor American, I'm just trying to do my best. If there's anyone out there who wants to help me with my language issues... well, that would be great!_**

**_Anything you can recognize is Stephenie Meyer's property. I'm just trying to write this crazy story._**

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"Fuck, Bella, those are quite dark circles under your eyes... you're going to need pounds of concealer".

Yes. That woman so amusing and nice -please, take note of the sarcasm-, is my best friend, Alice Cullen. Best friend and desired sister in law, just her huge asshole brother is completely blind. Ten years, ten fucking years in love with him, and he doesn't even know about my existence. Well, he does know that I exist... We're friends. The best friends. Shitty luck, right?

"The son of a bitch of your brother brought one of his one-night-stand girls again yesterday. They spent the whole night hitting my bedroom's wall -yeah, that wall that separate our apartments and looks like it's made of paper, cause I can hear EVERYTHING- with his headboard. I could hear him praising her beautiful boobs and she screaming a few "oooohhhhsss" and "aaaahsss" that let me tell you, sound like a fake orgasm".

"Seriously, Bella. I know you're in love with him, and I'd love things were different, but sweetheart... he's twenty-seven years old, I don't think he's going to change."

Like she's telling me something new... I know, I know how Edward is, he himself take care of showing me, but I can't take him out of my head.

"It's just that I know his truly self, Alice. Under that shell of irredeemable shag-happy womanizer, a good man is hiding"

_"It seems like the foolish excuse you always use, Bella. Edward is an irrecoverable philanderer. Does it matter he is a good man? He'll never see you the way you want him to see you"._ Fucking little shitty voice, sometimes I'd like to take your advices and topics and get them into that place of yours never hit by the sun.

"I know, Bells. But changing is something he has to do. As Carlisle says "tree that grows twisted, never straightens up its branches", you've waited for him for ten years, and I don't want to see you wasting your life, dear. You deserve someone better, someone that makes you happy".

The fucked thing is she's right. I deserve something better, I deserve to be loved, I deserve a man who brings me flowers and candies, a man who flatters me when I use a beautiful dress, who whispers dirty words in my ears before he takes me to bed, a man who wants to get laid with me cause he desires me, no because my boobs are bigger than a basket ball, something that, in my case, is completely impossible. My boobs can be placed in "flat like a plank" type; they're completely out of "big as some planet" type of boobs. I look at my breasts with bitterness, _"Why the hell you didn't end of growing up, fucking bastards, instead of staying the same way you were when I was fourteen?"_. I sigh. Alice is right, this has no remedy. I need to stop thinking someday he'll wake up, he'll look at me and suddenly the world will stop spinning, there will be no gravity for him, it will be me who held him tied to earth... those are just romantic ideas I've read in some book about teenagers falling in love for eternity.

Let's be sincere. Men are simple, like the mechanism of a pacifier. If they have their needs covered —this is, food on the table, clean clothes, and someone they can fuck—, they don't look for anything else. And Edward is quite self-sufficient in the two first categories. Regarding the third one... he's so hot he just has to smile at you to make your panties fall on the floor out of the impression and run desperate escaping from the flood. Yes. Edward is hot... really hot... super mega hot, just like doctors recommend, and he has all the women he could want to cover his needs in the third category.

And that's a complete shit for me. If he has problems to hook up, maybe I could have a chance, maybe he would pay attention to me. But, again, I'm not quite astonishing to attract his attention. "Why, fucking genetics? Why can't I have Scarlett Johansson's boobs, JLo's buttocks and Marion Cotillard's eyes? Why, damn nature, did you make me ungraceful as a stick and so clumsy? Why can't I wear those heels like the blondes Edward usually fuck with use?"

I'm decided. This ends up today!

"Alice" My friend looks at me and seems to be confused, I guess it's because the gesture on my face. "I need your help". I try to gather all my strength to say the next sentence. I'm so aware it will be hard. A lot. "I'm going to forget your brother"

"Yippee" Alice jumps and claps like a little girl, I know she'd like things were different between Ed and I, and she'll support me to leave him behind. "Finally, I can organize you a date with Alec..."

"A date? Seriously?" How long have been since my last date? Years, yeah, years...

"My brother, the moron, he hasn't make anything good for your self-esteem, Bella. You're beautiful and I'm sure a lot of men out there are willing to recognize it. You just let me..."

Okay, I let her do... what can I lose? A Saturday night at my house, watching romantic movies, eating popcorn and ice-cream and drinking coke? Anyway, I can't wait until Alice's plan takes effect. No. This very night my own plan is going to begin. It's called "Now, you'll know how it feels". Tonight, Edward Cullen is going to find out how annoying it is to wake up in the middle of the night because someone is hitting your wall with his headboard while a fake blonde with plastic boobs, type "if I fall to the ground I'll rebound", screams like some hysterical asking you to get your big dick inside her. Oh, yes, Lord! Tonight, he's going to see.

Tonight, when he hits my wall to wish me sweet dreams, I won't answer. He'll hit my wall three times, followed by a three seconds pause, and another two times, but he'll get no answer... at least, not the kind of answer he's waiting for. The hits will have a completely different nature. I can almost imagine myself laughing with that evil laugh of the Austin Powers' movies. I don't look beautiful being bald, but I like the cat and that laugh "muahahahahahahahaha" with my little finger beside my mouth. I would like to look like Felicity Shagwell or Foxxy Cleopatra, but I'm pretty sure that I look like Frau Farbissina... Holy shit! Not even in my own lucubration I can feel like a cute chick.

I arrive to my house sooner than usual. I don't want Edward to see me; I want to be at home when he comes back. I won't answer if he rings my bell, though. Sometimes, he comes and we eat dinner together or see a movie. He usually tells me about the fake blond he is dating at that moment, while he sits down on my sofa and drinks my beer. After two or three... he can tell me almost anything. Gross. I once have to endure it while he told me about a Cirque du Soleil contortionist he had fucked. Once he went back to his apartment, I tried to copy some of the positions he described me and I discovered my body wasn't so flexible. That and the fact my imagination is poor. She can do that with her feet? Seriously?

I can hear him at my entrance door. I get closer stealthily and I look out through the spy hole. He's outside, in the landing, alone. It's perfect, so handsome it has to be a sin. God, he's only at my door and I think my panties are willing to burn up to the point of disintegration by incineration. If he's able to make me feel this way without try... how would it feel if he wants to drag me to bed? _"Forget it, baby, you'll get laid with that man when frogs breed hair, and I mean they breed it in a natural way... no if you make them a transplant"_. I shake my head, trying to clear my mind and focus on my mission. Tonight, my revenge will start...

"Bells! Are you at home?" he says, while he hits my door with his fists again. "Bells?"

I can see him walking toward his apartment, just beside mine. In an hour, hour and a half, he'll be wishing me good night. I run to my computer, and look for the porn movie I've downloaded. Yeah, I know, piracy is a felony, but... Have you seen the titles? "Edward Penishands" -I've to say... this is my favorite one-, "The Boobyguard" or "Gangbangs of New York". No, no fucking way I'm going to rent those movies at the same place we rent all the movies we see every weekend. What would I do if the post-teenager with severe acne problems that works there tells Edward? Ed would laugh at me for the rest of my life. So, just this time, the responsible Chief Swan's daughter, who always respects the law, has broken the rules. I'm afraid that, at any moment, an FBI agent would come to arrest me. I just hope he's hot. If a guy is going to touch me, I'd prefer he's a hunky man.

I press the play button on my laptop and, fucking god! Is that dick real? That's not possible. That has to be some kind of optical or visual effects. It's impossible there's one so big and thick. I've never seen a movie like this and I'm freaking out. _"No, not that way! That's the wrong hole!"_ What the hell are these girls' cunts made of? Titanium? Cause I'm pretty sure that, after such a cock, you'll walk like John Wayne, cowboy way.

The movie's script won't win an Oscar, but it will work. _"Ok, you smart girl. Do you really think people see this kind of movies because of their scripts?"_ I choose a few sentences and scenes, just with the man's phrases, because I'm going to say my lines. Edward will notice if I do it otherwise, because he couldn't recognize my voice. Everything ready, I just have to wait patiently.

TOC, TOC, TOC —one, two, three seconds— TOC, TOC.

I do not answer with our usual sign. Right now he's wondering if I'm at home. I let five minutes pass, and I decide it's time to start the show. I hit the wall several times with my bed, in a slow and rhythmical way. I press the play button and the actress start to moan in a scandalous way. Please... seriously? I stop that video and I start to moan myself. If Meg Ryan could do it in the middle of a cafeteria en "When Harry meets Sally" why couldn't I pretend to have an orgasm in the privacy of my own bedroom? I moan in such a scandalous way that reminds me the blond girl Edward took to his house last night. Why do I know she's a blonde? Well, maybe I did not see her, but I know which his type is. They have been that way since high school. Blond -they usually dye their hair, and I do not understand why he do not realize it-, big boobs -honestly, how can he believe that than women, so skinny, could have such big boobs naturally? Obviously, silicone. The problem is —I'm sure there are exceptions, it's only he never crosses paths with an intelligent one— these women are normally dumb. I increase volume to make sure that my neighbor is going to hear this. I continue to hit the wall with my bed, now a little faster, and the line that I choose sounds in my bedroom.

"I love your tight cunt, baby!" I flush completely. Fortunately, he can't see me, I would be so ashamed.

"Are you sure you can put that into my...? God, you are soooo big!" I scream in a faltering way, ending it with an intense and long moan, and a few "more, oh, more, harder, faster...", a few "Hummmmhh, oooooohhhh! And finally a few "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" while I keep to push my headboard towards the wall.

"Turn around, baby. Let me see your ass!" the image in the video is unbelievable. I have the tremendous butt of the porn actress in the forefront and I can see how he's pushing his cock inside her till the end. Till the end! How's that possible? I can't understand how he can push that huge cock inside her, seriously. Is that girl hollow inside?

The sound of a slap echoes in my bedroom. God! I think I'm going to piss just of laugh. I try to imagine Ed's face while all of this is happening. This is the first time, after four years living one beside the other, he heard me having sex.

_"You would like so, baby... you? Having sex? In your dreams..."_ Actually, I never have sex. Twenty-four years old and virgin... what a waste! And that's just because I'm waiting for him. Did he worth it? No. Well, I'm going to give my virginity a farewell big time... or, at least, that's what he's going to believe.

"Tom, Tom... Fuck! Harder, harder! Fuck me harder!" I scream. Oh, my God! I hope anyone could find this out. I can barely stop laughing. I keep pushing my headboard against the wall with all my strength. My knees are buried on the pillows and my hands are hitting the wall. Rhythmic blows faster and more intense each time.

"You're a whore behind that schoolgirl mask!" yes, I did choose that line on purpose. Fuck him. I know I have no experience at all, but for him, I would do anything for him. "Suck it! Clean it! Did you come, baby?"

I stop hitting the wall, the only sound now are the male moans of the fucking porn movie. I'm just getting horny, just because of doing this nonsense, and I'm going to need a cold shower.

After some minutes without hits, I decide it's time to get back to action. So, I start a new video.

"Come here, baby. I'm going to fill your pussy!"

I know, the phrase is as rough as a pair of straw panties, but wasn't worse than his "baby, you have huge boobs" or the phrase that had traumatized me the most "I'm going to push my cock so far inside you; you're going to feel it in your throat". I'm just giving him some of his own medicine, don't I?

After some minutes hitting his wall, mixing it with the lubricious sounds of the two porn actors, I put in motion my final plan. Yes, the actress does come in a very scandalous way, but I know it's a good way to end. That's the way every woman Edward fucked did end. They screamed like he was killing them, even if it was just out of pleasure.

"Tom, Fuck, Tom!" I scream like crazy before I end my amazing performance with a moan that could embarrass the porn actress.

If there were Academy Awards for fake porn movies, I would win an award for the best main character. I wait some minutes, and then I walk to my home's door, I open it and I close it again, hard, making sure it was hard enough for him to hear.

I wait impatiently to hear again the hits in my wall, those that are destined to wish me sweet dreams every night. But instead of that, I hear him hitting my door. Okay. "The show must go on" I tell to myself, while I tangle up my hair and I spray my face, neck and my cleavage with thermal water, I want him to believe I'm sweating. I take off my clothes, while I scream "Coming!" to make him know I'll open the door. There's nothing under my gown, not even my panties. It's a gown the girls gave to me my last birthday. It looks like a kimono; it's a royal blue and so short that if I bend down he'll see my depths. I look at my reflection on the mirror, to make sure that I look like a well-fucked girl. I pinch my cheeks to make sure they are totally red and I spray a little more water, so my skin looks wet. Now I'm ready.

I open the door to find Edward's shaken face.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asks me, while he's looking for something in my living room.

"Sure" I whisper, "Why?", I ask him, while I move the water/sweat away from my face, my hand moving down my cleavage to my boobs. The gown opens up a little, letting him to see my small rounded breasts and I can observe, in ecstasy, his eyes are open wide. Is he looking at my breasts? They are not his type! He always says "Tit that doesn't cover your hand, it's not a tit, it's a zit" and he has huge hands...

"You're screaming..." he says it as it was something bad.

"Out of pleasure..." I reply, "I'm sorry I waked you, Ed... Tom is a little... ardent"; _"you should say he's a fake"_. Fucking, shitty, little conscience of mine.

"Ardent? You both looked like a fucking porn movie, Bella. Did he hurt you?"

"Yes..." I confess embarrassed, he seems furious, "but I would die happy if he keeps hurting me that way. It was long ago I didn't have such a good night..." oh, yes! Blush appearing in 3... 2... my face is on fire. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to bother you. Don't worry, go back to sleep, he's gone..." I say as I shrug as it does not mean anything.

"Are you dating him?" he asks, and I can feel his curiosity. Why the hell is he curious? He never worried about me dating someone, well, I didn't date anyone.

"Are you kidding me?" I scream like he has offended me. "Tom is extremely handsome, but right now I'm not interested in love affairs. He's just a friend with benefits, he's just good sex... you know... do now and then something good for my body... Now, if you excuse me... "I say as I point the door, "I'm exhausted, I believe I'm going to sleep like a baby... Tom is... resistant".

I bend down to pick up some cushions on my floor, forgetting I do not wear my panties. I realize he's watching it all when I hear the sound of his throat trying to swallowing down.

"Bella..." his voice is a suffocated moan; it has a tone I've never heard before.

"Good night, Ed..." I repeat, while I point my home's door in a mute invitation to leave my house.

Yes! Bella Swan 1, Edward Cullen 0... You'll learn how it feels... you son of a bitch!

Esme... she's a saint, but his son... he's a bastard. I smile because of my little victory, and I throw myself on the bed with a smile as big as the Cheshire Cat's one, thinking that despite of my idea could be catalogue as a success, I can't fake forever, so from tomorrow on I have to change many things in my life, I yawn. The person who said that to pretend do not cause tiredness was because he never pretend to be fucking. I close my eyes and let the only man in my life catch me in his arms...

Welcome, Morpheus.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here's the second chapter. I'm sorry it took so long to update this story, but I've been sick, I'm still. So excuse me for this delay and the mistakes I'm sure you're going to find. I try to make this fast, but fast doesn't mean well.**_

_**Everything you recognize is Stephenie Meyer's property. I only take her characters to play with. I enjoy it. Thank you for reading this crazy story and... if is there someone who can help me with this traslation, I would be grateful.**_

_**Thank you very much.**_

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Tonight is going to be wild. Girl's night! We were preparing Angela's bachelorette party for weeks. I think we overdo it. I don't know how a girl like her is going to take it. After all, she's a preacher's daughter... I'm afraid we really overdo it. First, dinner at an erotic restaurant, that means eating our sushi from a meat tray, well, actually, from a 6 feet 6 inches guy, wide as my fucking wardrobe and with Apollo's face itself. For dessert, a chocolate cake with the shape of a giant cock. Uff! Afterwards, we're going to a club. Could there be a better farewell for our friend's single state than showing her the kind of men she's not going to drag to her bed? Although, now that I think of it, that's bad luck, because let's face it... Ben is lovely, but I can't say he's handsome... Well, at last we'd gave her a pretty mental image to hold. She can close her eyes and pretend…

Who the hell do I try to fool? Angela doesn't have to close her eyes and pretend anything. Maybe Ben isn't Brad Pitt, but he adores her, just as much as Angela loves him. And, obviously, they have had more action than I ever had. Maybe, if her father knew, he'd had a heart attack. Finally, the only one for whom seeing a naked guy is going to be a novelty, it's me. I recognize it. I've never seen a naked guy of flesh and bone, of flesh chiefly. Fucking shit. Twenty-four years old and... nothing. Yuck! But I'm decided to change that.

I'm getting dressed. My decision of changing my life has also affected my wardrobe. Yes, I don't want to keep being invisible, I want men to turn around and stare at me when I pass by their side. So, tonight I'm not going to wear some pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe my breasts are small, but I'm well proportioned. I'm not overweight, my butt is in the perfect place, though it's not quite prominent, and... regarding my face... well, I'm not Adriana Lima, but I'm not the fucking Notre Dame hunchback either. Alice lend me a tight dress. It's black, fine... the limited fabric it's made of, is black. The skirt barely covers my thighs, adapting to me legs perfectly, but from my hips to my breast there are only a few bands that covers the most problematic areas. I look at my reflection on the mirror. This dress isn't, at all, the kind of clothes I use to wear. I feel a little awkward, but I stand still and remember myself I have to step outside my shell.

"Bella" I say to myself in a self esteem rising outburst, "dressing like an incognito nun, you'll never get a guy laid".

A piece of my mind, that part that tries desperately to finally forget Edward, it's screaming at me: _"Bella, stop shirking, stick your chest out and end up getting ready"_.

A pair of "manolos" high heels are waiting for me in their box, Rosalie's courtesy. It's great we use the same number. They're calling me, with their mermaid singing. "Get into us, Bella... your legs will be so long..." Ups! Look! A pair of talking shoes... I take them in my hands and my subconscious scream _"yeah, yeah... very long legs... and a few broken bones before the night ends"_. Stupid little shitty voice... I don't pay attention to her and put the shoes on.

I look myself in the mirror again. I don't really look like myself. I wear make up, much more than usual. I barely use some mascara and a bit of lip gloss, but today I'm wearing a reddish smoky that enhances my eyes, making the green in them to pop up in my brown pupils. I pick up my hair in a high ponytail, leaving my face clear. The reflection in the mirror is strange. No, I don't look like myself actually, but I guess that's what this is about, isn't it? My former self didn't attract a bookworm, much less a man like the ones that I want.

I look at my reflection for the last time, still can't believe it's me who is reflected there. Holy fucking shit! I'm hot! Though I would be hotter if my boobs were bigger. I touch my breast with my hands, hold and squeeze them... _"Baby... if you're trying to make them grow swelling them up, you're screwed"_. Yeah! I know, fucking little voice! I know they're not going to grow just because I want them to... I wanted that for the last ten years, if that's how it goes, my boobs would be bigger than Pamela Anderson's. Maybe I have to think about getting implants. _"Don't you remember what we think about those bosomy women? I was thinking you were smart enough to even consider it... you're going to be one of those insecure women who need to reaffirm themselves through a good pair of boobs. What would your boss say when he sees you show up like that in the court? Do you believe the jury will pay attention to you or they couldn't see beyond your breasts?"_

I should be late when God shared out consciousness or the subconscious or whatever that shitty little voice is, because sure as hell there's no other as unbearable as mine.

I go out my home and walk towards the elevator. I'm thankful there's one, cause if I have to go down the stairs with these shoes, I'm sure I'll fall head over heels. I hear a door closing behind me, and a few steps getting closer at my back. I realize my dress is going up, so I pull it back down, with a hip move.

"Hi!" I would recognize that voice anywhere, it's Edward, but what it's weird is the tone in his voice, I've heard it when he tried to score with women in clubs, but he'd never used it with me. "Do I know you?".

Seriously? He doesn't recognize me? This can be fun. I turn around very slowly, and for a second, I can see he's stupefied. Yes, I leave him at a loss of words. I make a gesture with my hand, greeting him.

"Bella? God! You're... astonishing". Is he stuttering? Edward?. "I've never seen that dress before..."

No, of course not. The fact is... he never saw me in a dress before. Well, unless yesterday night, but it wasn't a dress, it was a gown, but I think that showing him all my private parts... well, it compensates everything else.

"Thank you", I whisper nonchalantly, as if everybody say that to me everytime they see me, but, deep down, I'm thrilled. Have I impressed him? It seems so, cause he's looking at me intensely.

"Where are you going?" there's something weird in his gaze. Is he worried? No, it doesn't seem to be that, but he's looking at me in a way... he's never looked at me like that before.

"Tonight is Angela's bachelorette party" I say "I agree to meet the girls".

"Where are you going to dinner? and... what are you doing after?" He's too much interested... I've told him what I arrange for this party on our last dinner together, and he didn't show so much interest. Actually, I told him which restaurant we picked up for the dinner, but, as it looks now, he was more interested on the fucking baseball game than on what I was telling to him. Well, right now, fuck you.

"Hum... you'll see, Edward... it's a secret. We want Angela to have fun, and you guys are probably going to meet tonight too... we don't want to cross paths with you tonight. Just girls... you know?"

"I see..." the elevator's door opens and we both get inside. He's staring at my legs, his eyes run from my head to my toes slowly. He oddly stops upon my breasts. Come on, Eddie... you don't like little tits... "I can take you there? Wherever it is you're going to meet the girls... I don't believe you can walk on that shoes..." he looks at my feet. I think he can't believe I'm wearing these stilts... I think he only saw me with shoes once or twice... black flats. I usually wear my converse with jeans.

"Thanks, but... no. Alice is waiting for me, just in front of our entrance. We've rented a limo you know... If you drink, don't you drive. I'm willing to drink... a lot".

"There are plenty of dangers for a drunk woman apart from driving, you know..."

"Well... don't worry... I'm a grown up woman. I think I can handle those dangers".

Is he really worried about me? Why? He's never worried about me, not the way the seems to be tonight, at least. I've always thought he just believes no man is going to touch me, not even with a stick, but tonight... he's different. Edward is acting weirdly with me... actually, he's started to behave this way since yesterday, after my "prank". I never thought he would show up at my door…

I leave the elevator. I can feel my hips moving, sensually, it's the result of wearing this heels. I like it, it's a provocative movement, sexy. Edward doesn't walk by my side, he's just behind me, I can feel his eyes upon me. There's a white limo parked in front of the entrance, and a extremely handsome man is waiting for me, beside the door. As soon as he sees me, he smiles at me... What a smile! Before he opens the door for me, I can hear a growl at my back. I turn around and smile to him.

"Good night, Edward" I say good-bye.

"Good night, Bells..." he answers, and sounds downhearted.

I get into the limo and I find all my friends there. I'm the last one because my house is the nearest to the restaurant.

"Fuck, Bella" That's Rose, one of my best friends. If I'm foul mouthed, well... she's worst. For each every three words she says, four are swear words. "If you don't fuck tonight, you're going to die virgin" What do I say to you? She's by far worse than me.

"I told you that dress was going to suit you perfectly, Bella" Alice, the maker of turning me in such a slut, because don't we fool ourselves, that's exactly what I look like tonight, rejoices in the final result of her miracle. "I knew you would look amazing with that eyeshadow. Was it as complicated as you believe?"

"Actually, no, it wasn't, I thought it would be more difficult, but it was shockingly easy. Thanks for sending that Youtube link... that chick... she's a genius using brushes..."

"I told you".

Angela looks at me, surprised. She looks beautiful tonight, but her dress is by far more simple than ours, and, much more demure.

"You look astonishing" she says "you don't look like a boring attorney with that dress... you're a beauty!"

"Where did you buy it?" Vicky asks me. "I love it. Is there this dress in red colour?"

"Ask Alice, she's the one who bought it" I answer. "Hi, Jessica".

Jessica looks at me, from top to bottom, with her mouth opened. "You look... amazing..." I blush like a novice and give thanks for saying I'm looking sexy tonight. With just a little bit of luck, tonight I'll meet a handsome and nice guy.

The restaurant is impressive. There are small private rooms. Ours was ready at our arrival. We get inside and find a guy extremely handsome lying down on our table, covered with sushi, he only wears a tiny, little, golden colored pants, barely hiding his privates. Of course, seeing the size of that part, it seems to be really hard to conceal.

I hate sushi, but I've to recognize that I love this one. Maybe it's because every time I try to pick one portion with my chopsticks, it ends up falling over him again. I eat most part of my portions with my fingers. That means... I can touch flesh! Yes!

Dinner has been great. Our particular tray has been very nice. The only thing I can regret is that, that part of his anatomy that was calling me all night, was covered by the fucking golden boxers. Well... those pants don't leave a lot for imagination, but they covered too much skin... It have big prospects... I mean... BIG ones. His name is Jason. He's blond, his hair is like the wheat in summer, violet eyes that impress and a mouth... Oh, Lord! What a mouth! I'm sure he's capable of great things with those lips. I like them, they're big and thick. They invite you to brush them, to bite them... they tempt you... to show him everything you like those lips to suck... those parts of your anatomy that are dying to feel them close.

We end up desserts. I never thought a chocolate cock cake could taste so well. I just hope I can waste the calories tonight, cause I ate so fucking much.

We come out the restaurant and they give us the tickets for a striptease show. The restaurant owner owns the club too, and he buy us a drink. We get into the limo.

I open a champagne bottle. Is this one the fifth, the sixth one? Fuck... I lose count, but we are all quite tipsy.

"For Angela!" I scream, raising my glass, "Lucky you, my friend! You must have found the only man without commitment issues in all fucking New York City!"

I look around. Rosalie, Alice, Victoria, Jessica and Angela are looking at me, shocked. Fuck. It's true... the only one who's waiting for a guy with issues it's me. Fucking lucky girls! They all have nice, loving, thoughtful, boyfriends. And they are all beautiful! well... all of them except Ben. He's not ugly, you know... but he's not a fucking great beauty either.

"Gifts, gifts..." Alice croons in high spirits, maybe trying to change subjects after my blunder. "It's time to open your gifts..."

Alice gives Angela her first gift. It's a "slut nurse "disguise. It's funny because Angela is a nurse, though I can assure you her uniform doesn't look like that tiny white coat we gave her. If nurses dress up like that in real life, there would be much more men hospitalized, even though they have to fake their disease. I believe the problem would be bigger at Cardiology wing... they would have heart attacks every so often. Now I think about it... these no other disguise for a woman... we always look like sluts in them, even the nun ones... they look like sluts nuns. Why do they do different ones then?

Rosalie give her another one. This box is smaller and rectangular. Rose laughs like a maniac while she tends her the package. Angela unwraps it quickly and starts to roar with laughter.

She hoists what was inside the package with her hand and reads a card.

"Your friends hope you don't need this, but just in case..."

It's a pink dildo, enormous, that's the truth... and it also vibrates. Angela is laughing, and the girls join her, even I start to laugh despite of the fact that, deep inside me, I'm wondering if such a thing would be the most similar to a boyfriend I would ever have. I take note of the model, which has really attracted my attention, just in case I decide to buy one for me. It has its perks... It gives you pleasure, just when you want to, and it doesn't splash when it pees, well it doesn't pee at all...maybe it turns out to be my perfect mate.

It's Jessica's turn. She gives Angela her gift, and her gaze is murky... What would she give to her? Angela unwraps the package and takes out a riding whip, a mask, and a pair of handcuffs. I look at Jessica, scandalized. Do she and Mike like that stuff? Sub/Dom thing? Now I think about it, I believe the submissive one has to be Mike, because he's a fucking hen-pecked. Oh, no! Fucking mental picture... Gross! Now I can't stop imagining Mike, tied to the bed with a pair of handcuffs, his eyes covered by the mask, while Jess rides him like an Amazon and hits him with a whip.

"_My eyes, my eyes! Please, just a little bit of bleach, just to take that image off my mind…" _For once, I agree with my damn voice and I shake my head trying to push aside such a picture.

Vicky offers her another package, it's small, quite small, and Ang unwraps it curious. Two gold-colored metallic balls, connected among them. A Ben Wa balls! I never see them live and direct. Yeah, I know, I'm a twenty-four years old virgin that right now is freaking out after seeing a dildo "porn actor size, you can't believe it's real", a pair of Ben Wa balls and a Dom stuff set just in front of me. I find myself thinking how fun it would be playing with all this stuff and... Ed. I sigh. I can't help it, I know I've promised myself I'll forget Edward, but I can't stop myself.

It's my turn to give Angela her gift. I thought I was being naughty... Naughty? I don't have the slightest idea of what is that. Angela unwraps the package, as thrilled as she was opening the others, and she finds the bra, g-string and garter belt set.

"It's beautiful, Bella. Thank you!" She smiles, and I smile back. Yes. Maybe it's not as daring, but I know Angela and I believe she's willing to use this gift more than the others. I'm sure Ben will be delighted with this lingerie, I'm not so sure about the dildo... _"Baby, wasn't Jessica's and Mike's image enough?... are you really imagining Ben, Angela and Mr. Big Cock? __Lalalalalalalalalalalalala"._

We arrive at the club and our chauffeur opens the limo door for us. Our table is by the stage, at least I'd have an amazing view tonight. They know we're celebrating a bachelorette party. Haven't I said it? Angela wears a big sash that says "BRIDE" and the rest of us are wearing a headband... but no normal headbands, no... they are jumping-cocks-moving-like-crazy-every-time-we-move headbands. I almost prefer to be the bride... because these fucking bitches make me wear the biggest cock on my head. They say it would attract real ones, so, the biggest one for me, that way I would make my debut having a great time.

I reiterate.

I would prefer to be the bride. Angela is sitting on the stage, looking at a translucent panel. Behind it, there's the hottest guy I've ever seen in all my fucking life. He must be at least six feet six inches tall, and his chest seems to be sculpted on rock. Dark-haired, a sensual and thick mouth, big hands and enormous feet. Which is the saying?... Big feet...? He squeezes and caresses her over her clothes, he gets closer to her body, tempting, and takes her hands to put them over his buttocks and makes her squeeze them. Oh, God! what a buttocks! You can stop a bus on those buttocks... you can play pelota court on those buttocks, you can park a bike between those buttocks and it wouldn't fall down. What am I saying? You can throw yourself from a flat roof and land over those buttocks safely... that was an ass and not my neighbour's, well... Edward's backside is fine... but not so fine as this one!

He goes behind the panel and the pieces of clothing seem to fly. The last one is... his black boxer, that ends up on Angela's lap. She takes it and waves it like a flag. I look at the panel and... Holy shit! is it real or is it some kind of optical effect? I can see its shadow and I swear, by the most sacred thing, it reaches just by the middle of his thigh... I would like to hold it with both hands and jump from thigh to thigh just like Tarzan, well, in my case, Jane... that's not a cock, that's a fucking liana. You can do bungee jumping with that cock... Now, I understand why he's wearing a firefighter disguise. Fuck! He wears the fire hose incorporated.

Angela comes back to our table, blushed and astonished.

"Hey, Ang… Was it as big as it looks?" I whisper in her ear.

She makes a gesture with both her hands showing me the size of such a member... I think I should write it on capital letters... MEMBER. It looks like she's traumatized by the size of the penis in question, and by her expression, I think she's doing some tedious mental comparison in which his fiance isn't winning at all.

Another guy makes his appearance on the stage. He rings a bell, and for a minute I think about it. Do I know him? Then I realize that I do, he's our tray, Jason. He gets closer to our table, holds my hand and invites me to run my hand over his chest. God! What a chest! What a muscles! What a face! What a mouth! I look down for a second and I find myself singing praises. Oh, yes, God! What a cock! He takes me to the stage, while all the girls cheer on me.

"Come on, Bells!" Alice is helping me to go up the stage, pushing me by my bottom.

Once I'm on the stage, Jason holds my waist and I can feel his hips brushing against mine... it's just me or he's happy to see me? I look down, briefly. No, it's not my imagination, he's very, very happy to see me... the end of his cock is showing over the edge of his thong. Ooooh! I'm wide-eyed. "_Baby, touch, touch... make sure it's real and not a dream…" _I pinch my arm and... Fuck! it hurts, so, no, this is not a dream. Without even realize it, I'm lying on the stage, my legs wide open and Jason is in the middle of them, up and down, brushing his dick all over my panties, once and another, I think I just can come out of pleasure right now, even though there're hundreds of women seeing and cheering us. I notice how he slips a piece of paper in the band that covers my boobs.

"I would like to see you" he whispers in my ear, "out of here, sweetie. Call me".

Acting like a gentleman, he helps me to get up and get down the stage. I'm completely blushed, red as a tomato, I can feel the heat on my cheeks. I take out the paper he slips on my dress.

Jason

555-085634

XOXO

"You're fuckingly lucky" I hear Rosalie, who's looking at the paper over my shoulder. "Why don't you invite him to see movies with us tomorrow? It's a safe place for a first date, he will behave with Emmett, Jasper and Edward there, don't you think so?"

Why not? I mean, Edward did take his fuck buddies a lot of times. If he can come with his blonde bitches, why can't I take mine there? I pull out my phone and send him a message.

_Tomorrow, movie and popcorn with my friends._

_Are you in?_

_Bella_

I can see him in the backstage, he's wearing a white bath robe to cover himself and has his phone on his hand. He smiles, and I can say his smile is gorgeus.

_Nice name._

_Movie and popcorn? Hum, it sounds good._

_Send me your address._

_Jason_

_XOXO_

Yes! My subconscious starts to make pirouettes and she gets rid off her old fashioned petticoat she uses to wear. "Not so quickly, cowgirl, we don't know yet if we can drag him to our bed" I tell to my inner voice, just to make her calm down before she does something stupid. I text him my address and the time. After all, we only have to walk a few steps, it's just the door next to mine, because this week we meet at Ed's house.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Here's the third chapter. I'm sorry it took so long to update this story, but I've been sick, I'm still. So excuse me for this delay and the mistakes I'm sure you're going to find. I try to make this fast, but fast doesn't mean well. I'll update chapter four next week._**

**_Everything you recognize is Stephenie Meyer's property. I only take her characters to play with. I enjoy it. Thank you for reading this crazy story and... if is there someone who can help me with this traslation, I would be grateful._**

**_Thank you very much._**

Oh, crap! It's almost five o'clock and Jason is probably about to come. I look my reflection on the mirror again and check everything is in place. I'm wearing a white dress. It's a gift from one of my friends at the university who is living in Florida now. It's close-fitting and really short, sweetheart neckline, maybe I don't fill it completely but I really think it looks good on me. I've curled my hair and I let it fall free over my shoulders. My makeup is really subtle, much more subtle than yesterday's, but yet I still believe I look fine. I'm wearing a pair of strappy sandals that closes over my ankles. They make my legs look long and beautiful. Yes! My legs are beautiful! I turn around and check my backside. I also have a good bottom!

I hear the bell of my door, followed by a few gentle hits.

"I'm coming" I yell, while I spray just a little of my favourite perfume. It's floral, with a subtle citrus note though. I run towards the door and I open it all at once.

God! Yesterday I thought he was hot, but I didn't make him justice... he's fucking sexy, and he's all, completely, for me. I'm about to kneel on my knees and start to praise God for such a divine gift to women.

"Hi" he whispers, a cunt tease smile on his face, while he hand me over a bouquet. Perfect! He didn't fall over the typical roses bouquet... I have a theory, roses aren't what they were in the past, I do believe men give them to us because they know we associate them with love and that would guarantee them we'd open up our legs. But he brings me daisies... I put them on water while he waits for me patiently at my door. "I've brought some drinks and microwave popcorn"

"Great" I look at him and I can't still believe how lucky I am... He's so hot! "Come". I say taking his hand and pulling him towards Edward's door. "We've arrived".

"That's close". He laughs. Have I say he has the most beautiful smile yet? He could light up an entire city with that smile. "By the way, we haven't introduced to each other properly yet", he says, while I knock on Ed's door. "My name is Jason Matthews", he bend his head and brushes my mouth with his lips, it's a sweet and soft kiss, without any ambition of getting more far, and I have to recognize, it tastes like glory.

The door opens and Edward finds us kissing sweetly.

"Bella?" He seems incredulous. What's up? Can't he believe it's possible I result attractive to a man? I separate from Jason with sorrow, at least from his lips, because his hands are still on my waist. I look at Edward and can't avoid doing it with some grudge. _"He's an asshole... just now things were going well..."_. For once I have to agree with my fucking inner voice. He just could take some more time before he opened the door, he usually does, I mean, he usually takes more time to open the fucking door. Of course, that's because he usually has to take his cock out some blonde's cunt. Is he alone?. "Who the hell are you? Are you Tom?"

I give him the "evil look". Why the hell is he talking like that to my date? Who the hell does he believe he is? Jason looks at him, but he doesn't seem to care about it. Wait. Did he say Tom?

Oh, damn it! He believes Jason is the guy I fucked imaginarily.

"Jason, this is my friend Edward", I explain as I point him with a gesture of my hand. "Edward, this is Jason".

Jason holds my hand, takes it closer to his mouth and leaves a delicate kiss on my wrist.  
He's fuckingly perfect. Edward looks at him badly. Why? I mean... Why does he care? Do I look his dates this way?_ "Nope. You look at them worst, baby, like they were ants you must smash. Don't you think he notices?"_. Okey, damn shitty voice, but that's because they're all buxom and horrid bitches... Jason is... another thing... definitely, something completely different.

We come in, and my friends are already there. Alice and Rose smile like Alice in Wonderland's cat, Emmett and Jasper have their eyes wide-opened.

"Hi, guys!" I greet, as I enter the room pulling by Jason's hand so he enters with me. "These are my friends, Jasper and Emmett". I see them exchanging nods, that kind of typical manly gesture which seems to say "Hi, guy!" without a single word. "You've already met Alice and Rose".

"Yeah, well, last night I couldn't talk to them". Jasper and Emmett look to their girlfriends, worried. They, Alice and Rose, are laughing like two idiots. "Who's Alice?", he asks. My friend moves closer, almost dancing, she gets on her toes and kiss him on his cheek. Rosalie is just by her side, waiting for her turn. If this still goes like this, if this is the women's normal reaction to my date, I think I'm going to buy one of those turn vending machines. "What movie are we going to see?", my date asks, but I can see it's just out of curiosity, he isn't worried at all, though I am. I just remember today is Edward's turn to choose, and I don't usually like his choices, I'm not just talking about girlfriends. God, no! The women he chooses... they normally are... brainless, they all have big boobs, but with a limited intelligence...

"That's right, Ed... what movie has you rented today? It was your turn to choose, wasn't it?" I can see my friends' boyfriends looking at me, a desperate gesture on their faces. It's the same gesture they use to have when it's any of us girls turn to choose and brings some romantic comedy. But that's not Ed's style, he usually chooses action movies or thrillers or some terror. But the desperate expressions of my friends got me worried, when they look at Edward, their expressions change, and they look like they want to kill him, slowly. That or cut their veins. "What's up?" I ask.

"Here, Mr. Romantic, he's chosen "How to lose a guy in ten days"". Jasper answers me, while Emmett rolls his eyes. I'm sure he's about to kill his brother.

"I told you we had to go with him", Emmett looks angry. "He was really weird yesterday... I told you... and now, we have to suffer whatever shitty crisis he's going through".

"Is not too soon for being going through "dickpause"? He's just twenty-seven..."

"Surely he loses all the testosterone... he used it too much...". Jasper nods subtly as I see Edward getting angry.

"I'm here. Who need friends...?"

"It's just we don't understand what's going on with you", Jasper seems to be really worried. "Last night you acted really weird, you're still acting really weird".

"Nothing is going on with me! I just thought girls would enjoy this movie. After all, the last movie we saw was "The expendables" and they finally went to Bella's apartment for a pedicure night".

"Fine. I suppose it's our turn for a pedicure". Emmett mumbles at Jasper's ear, before he starts to laugh.

But... why? Because of us? Come on... he never worried about that, I'd never expect a choice like that. I mean... I was expecting something like "Iron Man" or "Superman" or "Oblivion", but... "How to lose a guy in ten days"? Nope, I wasn't expecting that. Edward hates romantic comedies. When we girls choose one of this, he teases us. There's no problem for me, though. I love his today's choice... _"Matthew MacConaughey, oh, yes, baby... that six pack... he has quite abs... we can wash our panties on those abs..."_ I couldn't agree more with my inner fucking voice. What my consciousness, subconscious or my other personality, cause I'm already doubting about having a two personality disorder, seems to forget is that we have our personal panties washboard holding hands with us.

Ah! Now I get it! Surely Edward wants to play the role of the sensitive guy in the presence of one of those chesty women... I don't really understand why, though. He'd never bothered to what one of his one-night-stand girls thought about him, he just cares about the moment he drags them to bed, even though they do that content, and he puts his ... you can imagine what he gets into them, don't you?

"Shall we start?", Edward looks nervous, I don't have any idea why, but he's acting weird since the other day. I drag Jason to the Ed's comfortable sofa, he sits and pulls me down to sit beside him, when I realize I'm sitting on his lap and his arms are around my waist. He's so big I feel like a little girl, I can rest my head on his shoulder and breathe his smell. Oh, my! What perfume does he use?

Alice and Rose have to drag two very reluctant Jasper and Emmett to the sofa. They, the girls, are so happy, but, on the other hand, Jasper and Emmett look like they're being dragged to a slaughterhouse.

"Your face... it rings a bell...", Ed says, while he's staring at my date, but... what the hell is going up to him today?

"I'm studying medicine", Jason answers. Oh! He's studying medicine... ahhhhh! I wish I knew!, "your face rings a bell to me too, maybe we have crossed paths on campus".

"Yeah, well, I'm a resident now", really, Ed? Are you going to sabre-rattle with my babe?

"Well… I've to pay my career, you know? and I can't sign up for all the subjects I want to. Next year I will start with my residency...". "_Suck it up, Cullen!"_ He's a guy who's working to pay for his career, a total example for youth today.

"So... you work to pay for your career?" Jasper asks, and Alice looks at my with puppy eyes, telling me in silence _"Don't, Bella, don't... don't tell Jasper how we met him or he will kill me for going to an striptease club"_. Rosalie seems to join to her silent plea. They don't have to worry about me, but Jason seems to be quite proud of his work and, when I realize, the words have already left his mouth.

"I work as a waiter in a restaurant" _"Waiter? Tray, I'd say…", _"and also as a dancer in a club".

"Something like a masculine go-go dancer?", Emmett looks like he's having fun, but when he finds out…

"More like a stripper", Edward is looking at me, surprised. He just opens and closes his mouth, like a fish out of water, like he's trying to say something but the words couldn't leave his mouth. He raises one hand, his index finger extended. He frowns, but finally he seems to give up and he simply drinks from the beer bottle he has in his hand. "The work schedule suits me and I have to recognize: tips are scandalous".

I pay attention to my three friends, all of them are staring at me eyes wide-opened. It's not just Edward who looks like a fish out of water, Emmett and Jasper looks exactly the same. Rose and Alice are completely blushed. Crap! They do know now where we've been yesterday. I'm sure Emmett is imagining three of us, as we brush Jason's body until we make it shine, and putting large bills inside his thong... Well, maybe, it's not such a mistaken picture... well, I'm the one who polished Jason's tremendous body. What do you think? You think they cover themselves on oil until they shine like a Glo Worm? Nope, it's the result of hundreds of women brushing themselves obscenely against their bodies... I want to brush myself indecently against that body... oh, my goodness!

"Sweetheart", I'm scared when Emmett uses that soft and tender voice. Yeah, I know, it's weird, but it's almost threatening. "You didn't tell me you were going to a striptease club".

"Yeah, well, you know...", Rose is starting to stutter... that's not good. She stutters when she lies and Emmett knows it. Jasper is staring at Alice and I can almost read the reproval in his eyes. "The restaurant's owner gave us the tickets after we paid", it isn't a total lie, is it? What she isn't saying is that we've bought them. "and... you know, it was Angela's bachelorette party... we thought it would be fun..."

"Did you take Reverend Weber's daughter into a streaptease club? For God's sake... that woman is the most virginal thing I ever cross in my life."

"She seemed to have so much fun dancing with "Python"", Jason intervenes, bad timing, I have to say... If Ben finds out where we have been... oh! He's capable of canceling the wedding.

"Python?", Emmett seems curious. Jason opens his mouth to answer him, but Emm makes a gesture telling him to shut up. "Let it go, I prefer not knowing".

Finally, Edward opens his mouth to say something intelligent

"Let's see the movie..."

"And your date? Don't we wait for her?

"No, everybody is here now"

"Was last night so bad?", oh my goodness! he's looking at me badly, very badly... why is he looking at me that way? It has been years since I didn't see him alone on a sunday evening, he usually brings his date to watch a movie with the rest of us, and they end up fucking like rabbits. You can ask me... I'm the one who suffer the porn audio every weekend night, as long as he's not on call. According to Angela, you can count with one hand fingers how many nurses haven't jumped on his bed yet. I think he fucked with some patient's relatives, there were also some ambulance drivers, cleaners, and even, funeral parlor employees visiting the hospital to take care of some deceased... I don't want to think how many surfaces he has contaminated at the hospital. Gross!

"No, we don't have to wait for anyone else", he say under his breath.

Jasper and Emmett look like if they want to cut their veins with a Dorito, and we haven't seen half movie yet. Their girlfriends are sit on the border of the couch, their finger over their mouths, I guess trying to not melt, Matthew's body can make you do that, and their eyes wide-opened. Ed seems to be about falling asleep, in fact, I see him tossing his head a couple of times. I'm still sit on Jason lap, his hands caresses my legs softly and I think I can feel some hardness on my thigh that can be provoked for: one... he carries a torch on his pocket, or two... he is very, very, VERY, happy. He feeds me, putting popcorn on my mouth now and then, and giving me some sips of coke. He never stops touching my hair or my cheeks. It feels good. I've never been like this with a guy before.

I've had some dates on my past, most of them, because Rosalie or Alice tried to match me with a guy. I know, they were just trying to help me to forget Edward. All of those dates have been a disaster. An absolute and total catastrophe. Let's be clear, they were shit. Mike, Jessica's boyfriend, had a date with me before he started to date Jess. He took me to a bowling alley. Really. Who think about taking a girl to a fucking bowling alley on their first date? None of us girls likes to use those horrible rented shoes, and besides, our manicure goes to hell when we throw those damned heavy balls. If it wasn't enough, we were robbed on our way to my home. I should say I WAS ROBBED, because he'd been hidden behind me all the time, crying and weeping, while he mumbled something like... "I have nothing, I have nothing, please, don't hurt me!"

Where are men? Where is my fucking Prince Charming? Is he lost? Is his horse lame? _"No, baby, he's surely gay"_. Fucking Disney... all my childhood watching all that princesses movies. All of them have one fucking prince who rescue them. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella... what the hell! even Mulan, even though she signed up for the army pretending to be a man. I want one like that, a man who arrives riding his horse, takes me by my waist and lift me up to mount together and disappear trotting toward the sunset, a lot of beautiful warm colours painted on the sky, and his lips caressing mine, softly and sweetly. Is it so much to ask? So, yes... it is.

"Hey, baby!", Jason touches my neck gently, his fingers barely touching my skin, but I can feel him on every pore, I can't help a pleasure moan, almost like a purr. Ed raises his head and looks at me, surprised. "You seem distracted. Don't you like the movie?"

"You distracted me", my voice doesn't sounds like mine, it has a slight accent of lust, of desire, I've never noticed before.

He pulls me closer to him, so our mouths can almost touch, and kisses me tenderly. His mischievous tongue grazes my lips, encouraging me to open them up, and seeps into my mouth, plays with me as his hands get lost on my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp, inviting me to relax in his arms. Unconsciously, I get closer to his chest, holding tight to him and I hold his head, just to make sure he doesn't reject me. I slip and sit over his knees, straddling, and deepen the kiss as I moan and swing over his hips. I can feel his hardness on my centre and I wish to brush myself against him more. I hear someone coughing and that brings me back to reality. I open my eyes and I can see myself reflected on his beautiful violet iris. It's such a strange colour... and so beautiful... I like Ed's green eyes more than these, but these are really amazing. I can feel the blush on my cheeks and suddenly I'm aware of five pair of eyes staring at us attentively. Silence is just broken by Emmett's harsh remark.

"Rent a hotel room!", Edward looks at him, furious. He seems angry and he shoots me a disapproval glance.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Bella?", he asks, upset, staring at us. I just can smile. I want to answer him what's evident, but I contain myself. I don't understand why is he so angry. He's done this with his dates hundreds of times, more than once we've left his apartment without saying goodbye because he was very busy kissing the blonde on turn. It's just funny he's the one who's asking me that question. "You're not like this! Since when do you date unknown strippers to fuck with your clothes on on my couch?

I look at him, perplexed. Edward never talk to me like that, ever. I can't stop the tears to fill my eyes, but he keeps talking.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Two days ago, you're fucking with that guy... what was his name? Tom? and it was not just sex, no... You both can win the gold medal on the fucking Sexual Olympics... and today... you bring a stripper to my home, and start to brush your crotch against his? on my FUCKING COUCH?

I didn't notice when I got up, but I'm on my feet, staring at him fixedly. Jason got up too and his standing by my side, holding my hand.

"Since when are you dissolute slut?", his voice tone is so much lower now. I can see the irritation in his eyes.

Ah, no! That, no! I'm not going to let him compare me with the buxom blondes he usually fucks. If we're talking about dissolute sluts, his fucking datebook is filled with them.

"Since when do you care?" I shout back, "seriously, Ed. Since when? Who do you think you are to insult me that way? Jason is a charming guy and I don't give a damn what his work is... Apologize, right now!".

"What's up? Isn't he a fucking stripper? You've brought a fucking gigolo into my home, Bella! Do you have to pay him? How much are you going to slip into his thong for this... performance?"

I swear, I do not see it coming, suddenly I see Jason raising his fist and hits Edward's face. When Ed gets up, I see his nose bleeding. Ed tries to jump on Jason, but suddenly he stops. Actually Emmett stops him, he's holding him by his arms, not letting him moves, but he keeps on trying to hit my date, even kicking. For his part, Jasper has one hand over Jason's shoulder, as a warning he won't let him hit Edward again. He's calmer than my friend, and seems to be quite satisfied too. After all, he could punch him, so he has a pretty petulant smile on his face.

"Edward! Enough!", Alice's scream seems to calm him down, even though you still can see the fire on his eyes. Yes, he's willing to punch my date... Bastard! Do I pull out all the hair of those stupid blondes he fucks? If I have to deal with his affairs, he would have to deal with mine.

I take Jason's hand and walk towards the door, but before I leave I turn around.

"You know, Edward? I never thought how low you can get. You believe you have the moral authority to judge my date, but you don't stop to think about yourself. Okay, I think you're a gigolo, much more he can be, and it hurts me deep down you can think that about me, when I never gave you a single motive to believe so".

"Bella...", his voice is more like than a moan than anything else.

"Come on, Jason", I pull his hand and make him get out Ed's apartment. I hate to leave like this and dump my friends, but I'm so pissed I believe I want to beat him up. I open my home's door and push poor Jason inside, close it, and I jump on his neck, trying to bring back the intimacy atmosphere we have reached on Edward's couch, but he holds my arms delicately and moves me aside.

"Who's that guy?", good question, five minutes ago I thought he was my best friend, right now, I don't have the slightest idea.

"He's just a good friend, I've known him for years..."

"Isn't he your ex?", my ex? Seriously? Edward?He never kiss me, not once, and it's not because I've rejected him.

"We've never been anything than friends, ever..." I assure him, trying to end the question so we can try to restart what we left on hold a few moments ago.

"That's worse...", he brushes his hair with his hand in a desperate gesture and moves away from me. "So... you're in love with him."

"Me? Nooooo..." _"You, little liar... if your nose grows like Pinocchio's... we can build a bridge... Hey... ask him to lie to you... let's see which part of him grows…"_ Okay... the little voice is starting to be annoying.

"Look... I like you". He says, and I can feel my legs trembling because I know what's he going to say now, "but...", see? there's a but... "I know because of my job maybe you think I'm a

empty-headed guy, but I'm not. I don't like to be used to make someone jealous"

"I do not..."

"Maybe you didn't do that consciously, but believe me, you did. Instead of meeting with me anywhere else, you brought me into the house of the man you're in love with".

My mouth is open. I try to say something intelligent to convince him that's not true, but I'm incapable of saying just a simple word.

"Hey... I like you. Really. I think we can try this in a few months, when you finally forget that guy".

He moves closer to me and leave a soft kiss on my cheek, sweet.

"You have my number", he reminds me, "call me when you really want to give this a try".

And he leaves. He gets out of my apartment and leave me frustrated. Really! Of all the men in this city I have to find the only one who's not willing to drag a woman to her bed if there isn't some serious relationship among them?

Shit! Double shit! Edward has got to chase him away.

Isabella Swan 1 - Edward Cullen 1


End file.
